Author: Karl
Rating: PG - 13

I wish to thank Browny of the great (Browny's Farscape Page) for her input and help. I would also like to thank Firefly and Quiltlady for the tedious task of Beta-ing my story. If you like this story try Passage you will find a lot of crossover between both stories.

Summary: If given the chance to change one event in your past, would you?
Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Part 4  

I will not kill!

John sat on the corner of Pilot's console. Moya was still an arn from their second starburst that would bring them to the rendezvous point with the prison convoy.

Pilot turned back to face John. "I still believe atmospheric expulsion will be the easiest way to take care of them, Captain." Pilot looked at the human with a questioning stare. Pilot could not understand his reluctance for killing a few Peacekeeper soldiers and prisoners.

"Pilot, I will not kill!" He laughed nervously. Or through my actions allow ANYONE to be killed. Got It?" John jumped down from the console. "Look, there has to be another way." John paced in front of the giant creature's console. "Once we are back in the convoy, how long till we get to Del Varner?"

"Delaris?" Pilot stated coolly, "The work camps on Delaris will be one starburst from the rendezvous point."

"I will set up a little R an R for the crew on the command carrier."

"R an R, Captain?"

"Rest and Relaxation." He grinned at the pilot. "Look, they were all transferred here against their will and I would like them to have a little time to say good bye to there old regiment. Give them a chance to blow off a little steam."


"Never mind. Pilot, trust me. I will make the request to Teeg." John thought of Devon and Tauvo. He was surprised how much he missed them. "She will listen to me… I hope."

"But do you think they would leave you alone on Moya?"

"No, I will keep Aeryn here." He looked back at the Pilot. His was reaction was predictable. "I know she has to come with us, Pilot. If you would only send for her, you would know as well."

"Moya trusts you, Captain." He looked down slightly ashamed. "I just cannot trust any Peacekeepers."
John moved closer to the console. "I understand, Pilot. But everything I feel tells me she has to come with us."

"And what of the prisoners, Captain?" Pilot raised his head slightly.

"I know the Delvian and the Luxan have to come with us as well. But the Hynerian, I can't explain it." John stared past Pilot. "I don't get the same feeling from him. Once we are free we can drop him off at the first planet we come to."

"I am detecting a disturbance in the cell block, Captain. It would appear that Ka D'Argo has finally revived."
"Well I have been waiting for this. Aeryn says Luxans are a violent warrior race. Do you have any information on him?"

"None -- but on three separate occasions he injured Moya in attempted escape. If he continues…" Pilot looked away from John." I will not be held responsible for the outcome. Moya must protect herself. If he tries to…"

"I understand, Pilot." John smiled at the creature. "You don't really want to kill anyone either, do you?"

Pilot sighed. "No, Captain, we wish only to be free." He looked at John compassionately.

"It's ok, Pilot, I understand. Well… wish me luck, I am off to talk to the big red headed, tentacled faced Klingon."

Pilot watched the strange human walk from his lair. He couldn't understand why he trusted this creature that looked so much like a Peacekeeper.

Decca one coded message for Crais.
Bialar sat at his desk. He watched the recording over and over again. "What possessed you, Zina?" Assassination was not uncommon in Peacekeeper hierarchy, but to kill a subordinate so flagrantly could not go unpunished. Lieutenant Teeg was quickly falling from his strongest ally to a personal security risk. He would have to do something soon before this information made its way off the ship.

The com announced the incoming message.
Decca-one coded message for Crais, Captain, 1123-8173.

Bialar placed his hand in the scanner.

Report, Commander Aeryn Sun.
We are prepared for final starburst. Crew operations nominal. Captain has spent most of his time locked in Bay 6 on his project. Note: He has had three visits to the Pilot's Chamber. Monitoring devices do not function there. Some type of shielding. I will contact you direct link Mark eleven point two. End Report.
"Why would you be talking to her Pilot, Jon?" Crais stood from his desk and deleted the report. Just the mention of his name seemed to stir a blind anger deep in him.

Out of the frying pan into the fire.
John walked slowly down the tier towards their cells. He passed the Delvian first. She was mediating or some alien equivalent. He was startled by her motion upon hearing his footsteps. "Please, Captain, I must speak to you."

"What is it, Zhaan?" The simple act of uttering her name brought back feelings of familiarity. John straightened his jacket as he stood in front of her door.

"I have had the strangest visions, Captain. You were in them."

"I don't have time to do dream analysis with you, Zhaan."

"Cryton, you are from a glorious blue world. I have seen it in my visions."

John's heart sank. "When did you start seeing these visions of yours?"

"Shortly after we escaped from the convoy, almost half a cycle ago." Her face glowed with a smile. "I thought I was going mad."

"Well move over, I'm about to join you." He debated saying more.

"What does that mean?"

"It means we are headed for one hell of a ride." John walked past her. He wished he had more time to talk to her but he needed to confront the Luxan.

As he walked down the tier he could hear the low growling noise coming from the cell ahead. As he made his way to the door John saw him for the first time. With the chains passing through what looked like his collar bones he looked more like Jacob Marly. All he would need would be the scarves wrapped around his jaw. John could hear him breathing. D'Argo did not look directly at John. He was like a caged animal. John spoke out loud. "How the hell am I going get through to you D'Argo? Pilot, open the door I'm going in."

"Captain, I must protest it is not wise to…"

"Open the door now!" John adjusted his jacket nervously.

"Captain… John… I would suggest talking to him from the safety of the hallway."

"Pilot, it's nice that you know my first name but now is not the time to stop listening to me… Pilot!"

The doors parted. John walked into the cell cautiously. "OK, Pilot, close the doors."

"Yes, Captain," the pilot said nervously.
John stood at the far corner of the cell just staring at the tall alien. D'Argo looked at John only out of the corner of his eye. His breathing took on a growling sound.

"General D'Argo, do you wish to be free?" D'Argo didn't move and there was no reaction from the question. John stood there trying to think of something to say. "Do you know who I am?" Still no reaction. "D'Argo look at me tell me who I am." John was about to speak again when he saw a change in D'Argo's expression.

"You are a filthy Peacekeeper animal. When I get free, I promise you I will tear you apart with my bare hands!"
"Brave talk there, big guy. Considering you don't have the mivonks to look me in the eye when you speak." John stepped forward one step. He could see the anger build in D'Argo's expression. D'Argo turned slightly in his shackles and stared at John.

"I will twist your…" His expression changed. "No… What kind of game is this?" John knew D'Argo was having the same flashes insight that John had been having since his arrival.

"That's it, D'Argo, think! You know me, don't you?"

"Yes, John. No, wait. This is some type of trap. You have done something to me." D'Argo became enraged and leaped forward trying to get at John. John jumped back as D'Argo fell to the floor. He got to his feet again he made a strange hissing sound. John pulled his pulse gun from his holster and fired two rounds at the Luxan's chest. He fell back to the floor.
John checked the setting on his gun. Point eight-chamber compression. That will quiet him for a few minutes. Since John had been issued a firearm he had made sure the chamber compression was set to a low setting-he was not going to kill anyone.

D'Argo just lay there. His breathing seemed labored. John moved forward and turned the unconscious Luxan over.
John noticed the scar near the one of his collarbone shackles. He pulled his blade from his holster and cut open the scar. There it was, a holo crystal. John knew it was there, but how did he know? This madness was beginning to get to him. What did all this mean? John leaned back against the wall and allowed his legs to fold from under him as he slowly slid down the wall to the floor. John waited for the angry Ka D'Argo to wake again. He pressed the crystal and watched as the image of D'Argo's wife and son appeared.

John smiled. "Hello, Jothee and…" Her named escaped him but John knew if he watched it long enough her name would come to him. "Lo'Laan." John could not understand the feelings of loss as he looked at the image while it rotated in front of him. Were they dead? Why did John know who they were? He just stared at the image. "I am sorry…"

"Who are you?" The groggy voice of the Luxan surprised John. He slowly propped himself up on one elbow. John closed his fist around the crystal. "You did not kill me. Why?"

"I did not come here to kill you. I am a friend… Strike that… I am an ally, D'Argo. This is yours." John opened his hand and the image projected again. D'Argo flinched from the image. "Your son Jothee and your wife Lo'Laan." John stood slowly.

"I will tell no one of this." He tossed the crystal back to D'Argo. John stood and walked to the door. He did not look back at the Luxan. "I am planning to steal Moya. You can either help me or not, its your choice. Pilot, get me out of here!"

The doors opened and John walked out into the hallway. "Wait!" D'Argo demanded. John stopped in his tracks but he did not look back at D'Argo. "Why?"

John turned back slowly. "Because I don't belong here anymore then you belong in that cell."

"Tell me what you want me to do." D'Argo's eyes spoke more then his words.

"You will know when the time comes." John forced a smile. "Welcome to my nightmare, Ka D'Argo." John turned and headed back to his quarters.

I want this to go without a hitch!

Teeg looked down at her console, tracking the Leviathan as she exited StarBurst. Teeg was almost surprised to see her. For some reason she expected to discover that the human had stolen the Leviathan and headed for the Uncharted Territories. You aren't as smart as I thought, Jon. The com from Moya was transferred to her.

It was Jon Cryton. Teeg was impressed by his image on the screen. His crew stood at attention behind him his head turned slightly revealing his Talus (Ponytail). It was strange, he really seemed to fit the role he was playing. Perhaps being on his own on board Moya suited him? She opened the com. "Welcome, Moya, take up standard position 344 by 001 by 178 hetch two."

John gave a slightest smile at Teeg as she appeared on the main viewer. "Thank you, Lieutenant Teeg, we live to serve." John bowed his head slightly. He turned and barked the orders for the Leviathan to take up its position in the convoy. He deliberately left the image link open to show the fast actions of his crew. John would play their game, for now…

Once Moya was in position, John went to his quarters to make a phone call. He called Teeg on her personal link. She answered in a surprised tone. "Yes, Jon, what do you want?"

"Lieutenant Teeg, I wish to come aboard and speak to you privately."

"Why?" Teeg became suspicious.

"I wish to make a request… Zina, I prefer to do it in person, please!"

"I see." There was long pause before she spoke again. "I will accept you request for a private meeting. But I will come aboard the Leviathan. I wish to see how your crew is doing under your command. I'll be there within an arn."

"Very well Lieutenant, I look forward to your arrival. Cryton out." He hit his com badge. "Fuck!" John called Aeryn "We are have a visit by first officer Teeg of the command carrier within the arn, round up the troops."

"Sir… Round up the troops?"

"Ya. Get everyone ready for a full inspection." John barked! "I want it to go with out a hitch. Is that understood, Commander Sun?"

"Perfectly, Captain!"

Teeg's transport landed in the hangar. The doors to the hangar opened John had the crew line up for the Lieutenant's review once she had boarded. She descended the ramp alone. No Guards? John found it strange. He had never seen Bialar without a few personal guards around.

John moved forward. "Welcome to Moya, Lieutenant Teeg. I would like to introduce you to my crew. This is…"

"That will be unnecessary, John." She turned back to face him. "You wanted to talk."

"Yes, of course." John straightened slightly. "Why don't you come this way?" Teeg followed him through the maintenance bay into the corridor.

Aeryn turned back to her crew. She heard comments from the ranks. "All right keep it down, dismissed." She stood there alone in the hangar trying to figure a way off this ship. I have to escape!

They walked forward toward the center chamber. "Why am I here, John?

"You don't mess around with pleasantries, Lieutenant," John grinned. "I am having a problem with morale."

"Oh, I see, would you like me to replace the crew?" She grinned for the first time. John could see why Bialar liked her.

"No!" He chuckled then slid into a more serous tone. "But I am trying to gain their confidence. John took a deep breath. Here goes! "I would like permission to give them a fifteen arn rotation back on the command carrier."

"Why? Don't tell me you can operate this huge beast all by yourself." Teeg's mood changed instantaneously. " What kind of fool do you take me for Crichton?"

"No No No Relax." John stopped walking and turned toward her. "Listen to me. Commander Sun can stay here with me to keep an eye on me so I don't try to steal the ship." John grinned at her. "Do you really think I'm that stupid?" He grinned again. OK don't answer that! I don't want to know."

She caught his smile again. "You really are an enigma, John." She started walking again. "Why? Why do you want to do this?"

"Look my crew was transferred to an assignment over a sleep cycle. On minute they are soldiers on board a command carrier. Next thing you know, Bang! they are stuck on this tub."

"Tub?" Teeg smile grew "You're slipping back into your human speak, again."

"Ya, sorry, it comes and goes. I guess I don't try as hard around friends." He stared at her to see her reaction.

Teeg's smile faded slightly at John's comment. " You should be careful John who you choose to be your friends." She could not explain it, but she did find his strange mannerisms and words amusing. But she was no friend. How could she befriend an alien?

"So you want to give them some time to say goodbye to their old regiment?"


"John our lives are filled with transfers in the middle of the sleep cycle and duty assignment that we hate you just have to work through them."

"No I see no reason…"

"Please Zina." John moved in front of her blocking her path. "I am trying my best to operate Moya as Bialar would want. I have to show him that I am no threat. To do that I need a strong crew that respects me. If I get them some leave on the carrier it will help me with them I know it!" C-mon, Teeg, take the bait! Do it for Bialar!

"Why are you doing all this John? I know that Commander Sun could handle the duty assignments and you could work on your Project."

John tried to act as serious as possible. "I owe it to Bialar and Tauvo. Especially Bialar I know he…"

"Alright, John, that's enough. Are all the people of your world this argumentative?

"Ah, if you only knew." He laughed "Thank you, Zina!" John's plan was going without a hitch. She bought it hook, line, and sinker. But the realization set in. John's plans never work as they were intended. Those nervous rattlers returned to his stomach. Ya Dad, they're back.

They walked back slowly to the hangar. John talked openly about the progress he had made and that he would be uploading all the fight data to Bialar that evening.

He called the troops back to assembly in the hangar. They stood, their eyes forward. Their expressions spoke volumes. Teeg stood in front of them. "Your captain has secured a fifteen arn rec cycle on board the command carrier." The shock on their faces was priceless.

John waked over to Aeryn who had a very suspicious expression. "I am sorry, Commander Sun, you will have to stay here. You know the drill, keep an eye on me for Bialar." John walked back next to Teeg. "Well what are you waiting for? Dismissed!" The crew scurried towards the Marauder.

John laughed." They are moving faster than during an evacuation drill."

"Commander Sun, I wish to speak to you." Teeg looked back at John and grinned slightly. "Alone."

John was not surprised. Being one of Bialar's henchmen, he was sure Teeg had to get a report on his behavior. "I will be on the command tier. Thank you again, Lieutenant Teeg." John bowed his head slightly and headed for the command tier.

He monitored the Marauder and Teeg's transport as they headed for the command carrier. Aeryn walked into command. John did not look up at her. "So what did you tell her?"

"The truth!" Aeryn spat.

"And that is…" John looked up at her, she was obviously upset.

" That you are a strange man. I questioned your ability as captain and I told her that you were definitely not a spy from central command." She turned away from him. "And that's all."

"Thank you, Aeryn, you won't regret this. You have command."

In an angry tone she had a hard time controlling, she said "I already regret this!" She had never in her life had such turmoil of emotions clouding her judgement as at this time. "Where are you going?" The strange thing was that being near him gave her a sense of peace. How strange.

He didn't turn back "I have work to do. Lots of work to do…"


John stood outside D'Argo's cell. "Ok its time. Pilot, release the chains." The locking clamps on the ceiling released the chains, D'Argo quickly pulled them from the shackle loops on his chest.

"Come-on." John opened the cell doors. He stepped back as the Luxan emerged.

D'Argo walked past John to the storage control next to his cell. He punched the control panel. The storage bin descended from the ceiling. "I assume you have a plan?" He pulled the sword from the container.

"Look, the marauder has left with most of the crew. There is still one Peacekeeper on board. She has to come with us."

"Good, a hostage."

"No she's… Look I don't have time to explain. " John walked down the tier to Zhaan's cell. "Where is she?" He looked back at the Luxan. D'Argo was as surprised as he was that she wasn't there.

"Stay out of sight. I am going to have a little talk with our Miss Sun."

D'Argo followed John to the command tier. John stopped him in the corridor outside command. "Stay here!" He whispered. It sounded as if John was ordering a dog. D'Argo did not take this strange man's orders well. He would change that once the command tier was secure and they had Starburst away from the command carrier.

John quietly walked in to command. "Where is she, Aeryn?"


"Ms Blue Ass. What have you done with her?"

"The Delvian? Lieutenant Teeg transferred her to the Command Carrier. She said something about a gift to the Captain.

"Ya. He has a thing for them." John paced around the center console. "Shit! Shit! Shit! Why did you let Teeg take her?"

"I don't understand. Why would you care? She is just a Delvian." In the back of her mind Aeryn did know it was a mistake to allow Teeg to take her, but it was not her place to question a superior officer's orders.

"You don't get it, Aeryn. We can't go without her."

"Go! Go where?" Aeryn became alarmed at his statement. "What is all this about?"

D'Argo walked onto the command tier with his Qualta blade drawn.

Aeryn stood there staring at the Luxan. Her first instinct was to seek cover and find a weapon. But she didn't move. She just stared at him. Flashes of memory… A battle with the Luxan by her side... She looked up…she was dying…he was holding her hand… " No, it's not possible!" She looked at John.

"Yes, Aeryn, it is." His voice dropped to a whisper. "You know we don't belong here. We have to escape!"

"Escape! Where do you expect us to go?" Aeryn said through a nervous laugh. Flashes again of a ship, a biomech she had never seen before. Talyn! A shiver ran down her spine.

D'Argo moved forward and lowered his blade. "The Uncharted Territories! We must go there." D'Argo couldn't make sense of these feelings. But his instincts told him this was the right path.

"It sounds good to me." John grinned at the Luxan. "But first we have to get Zhaan."

D'Argo paced the command tier. "No we cannot wait; we have to leave her behind."

His words burned in John's stomach. "No, she has to go with us."

"Why? Tell me why." He hissed as he grabbed John by his arm. D'Argo had had no contact with Zhaan since his recovery. If he had, he would have known her place was with them.

"You know, Ka D'Argo-Think! You feel it deep in your stomach. You know I'm right!" John pulled away from the huge warrior. "I can't explain it. All I know is that she has to come with us."

John walked over to Aeryn. "I am going to need your help, Aeryn."

She looked at him with that steely stare. "You would trust me? You are a bigger fool then I thought."

D'Argo looked at the female Peacekeeper. "I will second that! What are you doing, Crichton?"

John pulled his gun from its holster and held it out muzzle facing him. "I am a fool." John smiled as she snatched the gun from him. Aeryn moved to the side of the command tier. She wanted to get away. Her mind spun out of control as she tried to figure a way out of this madness.

John raised his hands slightly. He slowly walked towards her. "I know you, Aeryn Sun. You will not fire at me. Please, all I ask is you trust those strong finely tuned Peacekeeper instincts."

As John got closer and closer. Aeryn held her ground raising the pulse gun higher. "I will blow your frelling head off if you come any closer!" She had to raise her other hand to steady her grip. She could not stop shivering. John stepped closer, she tried to pull the trigger but it was as if the nerves transmitting the order were blocked. She tried again. She grit her teeth in pain as she tried for a third time.

John was standing right in front of her. "I knew you couldn't do it." She pointed the gun to the right of John's head and fired. John felt the heat from the plasma pulse as it streamed past. She aimed at him again. She realized it was her own will fighting all her training that kept her from firing the gun. Aeryn couldn't understand. She lowered the weapon. "I will not help you." It took all her strength to keep her from crying.

"Fine." John turned to the Luxan "While I'm gone, lock her up."

D'Argo's face exploded in a huge smile. "It will be a pleasure." John did a double take as he was surprised by such a display from the Luxan.

"Hey, but don't hurt her! Got it?" D'Argo ignored his request. John turned back to Aeryn. "If this all goes wrong you can say that we imprisoned you. At least that will give you a chance to talk your way out." Aeryn did not speak. She just stood there staring at them. She knew by not helping she was making the wrong choice. She watched as the strange being left for the command carrier. She turned back to the Luxan, sizing him up. There was a chance she could take him out, but it was a small chance. That's when he attacked. She barely had time to react as his tongue whipped across the command tier and struck her cheek. Aeryn fell to the floor, unconscious from the sting.

* * *

"Jon!" Devon's ever-present smile widened as he got up from his desk. "Jon Cryton! For the glory of all, what a surprise! So how is captaining a Leviathan?"

John looked around the operating theater and waited until the outer doors had closed fully. "Save it, Devon, it's time. The game is over. I am leaving."

"What do you mean, Jon?" Devon walked slowly towards John. As he approached, the fading smile was replaced with a look of concern. "Why have you come to me? I thought you understood. I will not help you…"

"Yes, you will!" John pulled his pulse gun from its holster. "I won't bring Tauvo into this. If I were discovered, he would be held responsible. But…" John raised his pulse rifle." But if you help me and it is discovered, it would only be another case of an attendant acting against his masters. You see, Devon, then Tauvo and Bialar would be unaffected." John stared at the old doctor. "How do you think it would look if it comes out that the Captain's brother helped a Leviathan to escape?"

John watched as Devon's face showed the burden of what he had said. "You understand the Peacekeepers better than I expected." He turned away from John. "What do you want?"

"I need the Delvian. Where is she?"

"What do you need her for?"

"I have no time, Devon, where is she?" John kept looking over his shoulder. He did not trust Devon as far as he could throw him but John had no choice.

"Sector 113 Level 22 Training center." He stared at John. He knew with the brush of his hand he could trigger the internal security system to eradicate the intruder but he couldn't- He wouldn't. He had made his choice. Devon's heart sank, as he looked at the scared little human. He could not possibly survive. "Good luck, Jon, now please go!"

"Devon." John stepped forward a few steps he lowered his pulse gun slightly. "Come with us."

Devon's face erupted in a huge smile. "Thank you, Jon." He turned back and walked slowly to his desk. "No… You know I can't. My place is here." He sat slowly at his desk, John moved closer. He was going to ask why, but he felt it. No. Devon doesn't belong with us.

"Good bye, Devon, and thank you!" John backed up to the huge doors of the operating theater. The doors parted and he carefully checked the hallway. Placing his gun back in its holster he walked quietly out into the world of the Peacekeepers.
Devon sat at his desk, his mind filled with the missed opportunities in his own life. Jon had brought all these strange feelings to the surface. He sat back and laughed as spoke into the air of the large room. "You were right, Bialar, Jon was dangerous. Not only did he contaminate Tauvo with his alien ideas, he contaminated me as well." No, Devon was too old to change. He could never adjust to a world of freedom but "Tauvo might."

Devon called Tauvo on his personal link. "Yes, Devon, what is it?" Tauvo sounded annoyed by the call.

"I am sorry, Commander, am I interrupting something?"

"No I just got back from a seventeen arn patrol. I am just tired, that's all. There is still no sign of the Mordin. Though we did detect a radiation signature, but no ship! I think Bialar is insane to keep us here looking for her."

"Tauvo, guess who I ran into just now?" Devon's mood changed as he spoke.


"Jon, he stopped in to say hello. I was thinking, if you have a little time you might want to…"

"Devon! You know my frelling brother does not want me to even talk to him."

"Bialar doesn't even know he's here." An evil grin sprouted on Devon's face. "He would never know. Jon should be heading back to his transport by now. Its your choice, Tauvo." Devon cut the connection and made sure the data spools from the last arn were wiped so that there was no record of what had transpired. "Tauvo, I hope you will make the right choice."

Part 5

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