I would like to start off with “Was it a bass or a
trout?” however I still stick by my own
interpretation, as it is more interesting.
on with the review. We start off with the normal
reprise with these kinds of episodes... yadda yadda
yadda, blah blah blah…”Was it a bass or a
say the best place to start is at the beginning, so
always one to disagree with what's best I’ll jump to
the end… it was a frelling good episode. More story
based than normal but not lacking anything for it. As
for the final scene… Quality is all I can say,
sunglasses on, striding away… cool as.
to the beginning.
you know Moya for reasons that we never find out is in
orbit around earth, apparently that is where they
arranged to meet John, so I guess they put it down to
the time line being very very similar to the one they
left but not quite. That is however beside the point.
We left John demanding fishing advice from his father
at pulse pistol point.
out they are on board because Sikozu could talk
English and they wanted to say hi. They launched a
shuttle and decided to hang about until John arrived.
It just about what you would expect for the first
human alien meeting, one guy that has a clue and a lot
of advisors who couldn’t think their way out a paper
bag with out detailed instructions and written
also turns out that she is alone on board. Scorpy is
at the far end of the wormhole transmitting a signal
so that when the wormhole is stable enough for Moya to
travel through they can find there way back.
the human with jack seemed impressed enough with
Sikozu but lets be fair she is hardly the most
threatening looking alien to meet. So it is
understandable amusing when they introduce the others,
especially D’Argo. They take Johns advice not to
make any sudden moves very to heart.
wanders off while the two groups give each other the
once over, from a Mexican stand off point of view
obviously and ends up having a little chat with
Sikozu. She is understandable confused as to Johns
reaction to being home, asking if he thinks they might
be a threat to the crew, to which John replies that he
sees it more the other way about.
we get to a bit I find annoyingly familiar, not that I
have seen this ep before more to the style of it, The
Memoirs of John Crichton. Maybe you’ll know what I
mean when you see it for yourself. Anyway, there he is
writing in his diary, expressing his thoughts.
get a brief bit about his return, meeting his sister
Olivia again, seeing DK and his wife Laura, whom he is
surprised married DK as she once called him a geek.
And then we move onto the crew. Seems they are all
down on earth with him, living in a beachfront
mansion. A gilded cage as he calls it. The first thing
granny does upon entering is… eat the flowers on the
table. I know… I thought it would have been Rygel
see a lot of what you would expect, demonstrations of
weapons and some of the military people getting
injected with translator microbes so that they can
listen to D’Argo telling them not to touch his ship.
at the mansion, we get to see Chiana and Sikozu on
bikini’s and I must admit to wondering just how long
they had to be in makeup for those scenes. However
long it was it was worth it. Rygel and Granny are busy
eating everything they can find and loving every
minute of it. Who would have thought Rygel and Noranti
would be soul mates… well eating buddies at least.
it seems that the American government want to keep all
the discoveries and alien tech they can get in their
own hands, not sharing it with anyone else. John is
understandably against this. Worst of all it seems his
own father disagrees with his position and has sided
with the black suits.
by the way, it seems it is Christmas time. So John,
Jack, Olivia and Aeryn are decorating Jacks flat in
Florida and the baby pictures of John, with ass
exposed, are about to be shown when, sorry ladies, the
door goes and John goes to answer it. Guess who… A
woman with mistletoe and a determination to examine
out she is an old girlfriend of Johns, but not Alex.
This being Farscape, Aeryn turned her head just in
time to see John getting kissed. Let me tell you, she
did not look amused.
we cut to another few scenes, nothing really important
until… John watching the box, feet up, scoffing away
at either a bag of popcorn or chips and in walks Jack.
Jack lets John know that every other nation is
demanding access to the crew and their technology and
John agrees with that position. His father tells him
that he is being naive and that America should keep
control of all the technology garnered from the crew.
That after September the 11th the world is
a much harsher place.
disagrees with him, says something about how this
opportunity should be used to unite mankind, and how
that always used to be his fathers dream. Seems they
are both as stubborn as the other and both refuse to
back down, but John still invites him along with him
to visit Moya.
through out this there has been Johns cousin Bobby
running about filming everything on his handy cam, he
particularly seemed interested in Chiana and Sikozu in
their bikini’s, anyway he joins john and jack along
with Aeryn and D’Argo on the journey to Moya. He and
jack go to visit Pilot, while after a few frost words
and not a glance in John’s direction Aeryn goes to
check out her prowler. I have said it once and I’ll
say it again, Ant as D’Argo injects a great amount
of humour with very little effort. It lasts a few
seconds but it is a great scene.
there is a nice scene with John and Aeryn. It is
obvious that Aeryn is feeling left out of things by
John and offers to stay on Moya if John wants her too,
but John insists it is her decision and she decides to
return to earth with her prowler so that the techs on
Earth and scratch their heads over it along with
everything else they can’t figure out.
we get o see the alien Grayza left behind on Moya, let
me tell you it wins no prizes on the beauty front no
matter how big a grin it has. On the carrier, Grayza
has a thing, which she attaches to Braca’s forehead
and it lets her talk to the alien through Braca, who
apparently will remember nothing. Grayza orders the
alien to find out all it can about Earth, it’s
defences and it’s position but to leave John alone
for now. When she detaches the device from Braca she
convinces him that he had a great time recreating with
her and orders him to ready the carrier to destroy a
planet. The alien is called Skreeth or something
similar and is the world’s largest chameleon.
back on Moya it turns out the crew has about 70 arns
to wait before Moya can safely travel back through the
wormhole. D’Argo is also glad that for once John is
seeing things the way D’Argo is seeing them. That is
that they are going to be leaving earth long before
earth can organise the people that John offered to
take with him. He says better to offer it and leave
before they can get things organised rather than not
offer it and having the choice taken from them. Seems
John has a high opinion of Governments.
offers jack a ride back to Earth in her prowler but
first takes him on a side trip to Saturn where they
have an interesting conversation. Seems like old Jack
knows that Aeryn has feelings for John and thinks that
John has feeling for Aeryn also.
earth Sikozu is on the phone refusing to take part in
medical tests and finally throws the phone out the
patio doors. Rygel is busy eating burgers and Noranti
is attempting Christmas carols until, thankfully,
Sikozu throws the music out to play with the phone on
it turns out that not only is DK a geek he is also a
jealous and rather annoying one. He is convinced that
John knows more about the technology than he is
letting on and just wants to grab yet more glory for
himself. Seems getting married didn’t do much for
him because his wife is just as bitchy about it.
Skreeth decides to start her investigation of earth
with those two and interrogates them, reports it’s
finding back to Grayza who tells it that they no
longer needs the two whom it interrogated… guess
what happens next…<G>
the result of this is that they decide to go after
Crichton and get the wormhole information from him
before killing him.
back to John, who is sitting going through some old
pictures and talking to his sister. He tells her that
he thinks coming back to earth might have been a
mistake and that he can’t even explain why that is
to jack because there are something he does not want
the Government to find out about.
the beach house pervy cousin Bobby is interviewing
Caroline, the old girlfriend of Johns and just as
Aeryn walks up, wearing some of Johns sisters clothing
tat she borrowed, he asks her, Caroline that is, how
long she has been Johns girlfriend. She tells bobby to
stop filming and to go take a break. Aeryn comments
that she would like to know how she would have
answered the question. The two females has a little
chat where it turns out that Caroline is sure that
John loves Aeryn and how sometimes humans often repeat
a lie to try and convince themselves it is the truth.
on the other side of the wormhole the disturbing
relationship of Scorpy and Sikozu takes another leap
forward. She has decided to join him there instead of
staying on earth. He has apparently been bust turning
his transport pod into a bomb so that he could
destabilise the wormhole in case Grayza and her
command carrier appeared and threatened John and
coincidently earth. She asks him how he would survive
and he said he wouldn’t and then she says that two
transport pods would make a bigger bang and the move
closer… Thankfully the scene ends there.
on earth there is a boring official Christmas party
taking place that is basically a photo opportunity.
Chiana is swigging champagne from the bottle, classy
chick as ever. So after a chat with a suit about
having Jack pressure John into changing his stance on
sharing the tech, jack stands up and delivers a speech
all about how John is right and the tech should be
shared for the good of humanity and invites the other
countries to join in. thus the rift between father and
son is healed and they head home. However as their
cars pulls away we see the giant chameleon that is
Skreeth is hanging onto their fender.
we have a scene with Olivia, Johns sister and Aeryn.
Aeryn has come to return the clothes she has borrowed
as she is returning to Moya. Olivia is surprised about
this as the next day is Christmas and she had expected
Aeryn to join them to open presents in the morning.
Its at this point that John, jack and their security
detail return home, jack offering the guard some egg
at the party, after pulling Chiana off a poor guy as
they are leaving D’Argo smells something bad. That
something turns out to be DK and his wife. Both dead
as dead things, in the back of their car.
next scene is a very powerfully written one and well
acted. It seems that Aeryn is offering to leave Earth
if that is what John wants. She just wants a straight
answer, yes or No. she wants to give him the space she
knows he needs but she needs to know what he wants.
John moves in closer to her and… Enter Skreeth stage
screams, whack, unconscious. Jack attacks, whack,
unconscious. Guard fires a few shots at Skreeth before
being put through a wall. John attacks and ends up
ruining the table set for Christmas dinner and is
stunned. Aeryn pulls out her pulse pistol and adds
quite a few holes in the structure of the building
before Skreeth pulls a vanishing trick. John stands up
and is almost shot by Aeryn and as she raises the
pistol away from john Skreeth appears beside her and
for reasons known only to it, decides to chow down on
the pulse pistol.
it seems John has Winona in his room and makes a run
for it while Aeryn distracts Skreeth but that does not
last long as Skreeth knocks her out but John makes it
to his room after a little tussle on the stairs and
reappears with Winona. But there is no Skreeth to be
seen, obviously. So as he is looking about Skreeth
reappears beside him and they fight over the Pistol
and fall over the balcony railing and both hit the
recovers first and is in the process of doing whatever
it is it does to interrogate prisoners, some sort of
Vulcan mind meld gone crazy with hands in desperate
need of a manicure. Aeryn recovers rolls grabs Winona
who has fallen near her and firs at the chandelier,
telling John to get clear, which she does and the
chandelier falls and nails Skreeth.
check that everyone is all right and D’Argo appears
in Lo’la hovering just outside the French windows.
Cue Olivia screaming again and it turns out Skreeth
has recovered but D’Argo takes it out with the
cannon on Lo’la. Ain’t no way that baddies is
Grayza has been following the fight through the stick
head thing she puts on Braca, when Skreeth is killed
Braca collapses. So she lies beside him and convinces
him that the two of them had decided to recreate on
the hard metal floor, out of sheer boredom no doubt.
Poor guy, there he is a spy for Scorpy, used as a dupe
by Grayza and now he’s been demoted to a walking
radio, so much for his promotion to Captain.
during the fight back on earth John used some of the
drugs that Noranti had supplied him to throw in
Skreeths face to stun him for a second or two. Aeryn
questions Noranti about what they are and what they do
and she is less than happy about the answer she gets
Earth John is saying his goodbyes. First to his
sister, who gives him their mother’s wedding ring,
then to his father. A very emotional scene this one
and well acted. Jack is afraid that he won’t see his
son again but John promises him that he will. After a
few hugs and kisses it is time to leave.
last we see John is him striding away, long black
jacket on, sunglasses and a great rocky score in the
background, very matrixy. So frelling cool.
is an excellent ep, well written, powerfully acted and
well scored. This is easily one of the best episodes
in my not so humble opinion. Some people might
disagree with me but that’s ok, they are allowed to
have their own opinions even if they are wrong. The
best line is this ep is uttered by Aeryn after the
fight with Skreeth, “Merry frelling Christmas!” to
which John responds “Amen”
in all this is an ep with something for everyone.
Farscape is back on form after he disappointments
early in the season epitomized by “Coup By Clam”
although Aeryn's reaction to John dressed as a woman
made that episode for me.
I digress. Excellent episode. Well worth watching over
and over and over.
synopsis written by Toadie.