All of the work, including photographs and text, on this and the other ScapeSpeare pages is courtesy of PyeCat, who generously allowed us to post it. His website, Focus on Farscape, is loaded with outstanding convention reports. 


ACT FOUR

SCENE ONE

Enter OLIVIA, stage left, crossing to stage right. She passes STARK and SIKOZU, who enter stage right, quietly chatting, and pause near center stage. Just before OLIVIA vanishes, JOHN CRICHTON enters stage left, and looks around. STARK and SIKOZU boggle.

STARK: (Gesturing in confusion, side to side)
Thy side, thy side, thy side, thy side ...

SIKOZU:
How DID you that, mílord?

CRICHTON: (group hugging the Fools)
MíLORD STARK! MíLADY SIKOZU! What, is that all thy greeting for your old friend, at last returned from that undiscovered territory?

STARK:
You HAVE done it before, my lord. Methinks ...

SIKOZU:
Weíre getting rather bored. And did you not just this way pass?

STARK:
Unless thy doubleís stepped free of the looking glass...

CRICHTON:
Nay, nay! Been there, done that, the t-shirt I do have.

SIKOZU:
But we did not see you just now, before we saw you just now?

CRICHTON:
Go to, go to! Thou art foolish folk, the both of you!

STARK:
Aye, at thy service, Fool One -

SIKOZU:
And Fool Two.

CRICHTON:
How very Seuss of thee ...

STARK:
Why do you suddenly look at all the world afresh?

CRICHTON:
For Iíve only just arrived.

SIKOZU:
Ever thou had the brains of the child born yesterday, John Crichton ...

STARK:
But taken thus far, it begins some little to frighten ...

SIKOZU:
You did not just pass this way ...

STARK:
You arrived on this shore not before this day ...

SIKOZU:
Knew you not of our employment as Fools ...

STARK:
Marry, waterís afire and the Sun is cool.

CRICHTON:
Nay, the Sun shall ever be HOT! And Iíll have satisfaction of any man who dares say she is not.

STARK:
On that at least we do agree.

SIKOZU:
Yet nothing else that is so is so.

STARK:
I know a tale wherefore thy nose should grow.

Enter CRAIS and RYGEL, stage right. CRAIS pauses, looking at the audience, then at his limbsówhole as everóthen back at the audience.

CRAIS:
What look you at? I got better! (Striding over to Crichton) Now, sir, have I met you again? Thereís for you.

CRAIS punches CRICHTON. Someone holds up a sign reading ďPOW!Ē

CRICHTON:
Why, thereís for thee. (CRICHTON punches CRAIS back, knocking him down. Someone holds up a sign reading ďWHAM!Ē) Are all the people mad? (Silly me ... this be Farscape!)

RYGEL head-butts CRICHTON, knocking him back.

RYGEL:
Come, Crichton, hold!

CRAIS:
Nay, let him come. Iíll go another way to work with him. Iíll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law on Litigara. Though I struck him first, yet its no matter for that.

CRICHTON: (to RYGEL)
Stand you clear, Sparky.

RYGEL:
Nay, sir, let the want-wit alone.

CRICHTON:
I will finish this, finally and for all.

RYGEL:
Nay, then ... you are well fleshed ... I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you!

RYGEL chomps, trying to bite CRICHTON, who dodges back, just as AERYN runs in stage right.

AERYN:
Hold, Rygel! On thy life, I charge thee, hold!

RYGEL:
Madam.

AERYN:
Will it ever be thus? Ungracious wretch
(Grabs Rygel by the throat and begins dragging him offstage)
Fit for tormented space and prison ships
Where manners neíer were preached! Out of my sight! -
(Turns back, batting her eyes at Crichton)
Be not offended, my dear John Crichton -
Rudesby, begone!

RYGEL gets thrown off stage left, with CRAIS, SIKOZU, and STARK. Aeryn turns back to Crichton, brushing her dress back into place. CRICHTON just stares in wonder at Aeryn, after fighting so long to get back to her ...

CRICHTON:
What relish is in this, how runs the stream?
Or am I mad, or else this is a dream.
Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;
If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!

AERYN:
If thou has not yet regained thy memíry ...
I am no waifish maid to wait, to sigh.
John, I prithee ... I mean not to push thee;
But even so, mílord, I cannot lie.
Iíll no more stand waiting for coin to fall.
A soldier am I; canít be what Iím not...
(Snaps her fingers; enter BRACA, carrying the baby and dangling the fuzzy handcuffs to entertain him.)
I need thy heartís answer, once and for all.
Up for love Iíll stand, eíen shall I be shot.
Just tell me now ...
(Aeryn holds up the fuzzy handcuffs)
Would thou be ruled by me?

CRICHTON:
Darliní, I would!

AERYN: (Slapping one cuff on his wrist)
O, say so, and so be! Iíll return forthwith...here, hold thy son!

John & Aeryn Proposal

AERYN grabs the baby from Braca and tosses him to CRICHTON, then runs off stage right. CRICHTON looks at the baby in wonder.

John & Baby

CRICHTON:
That was Aeryn, that was the glorious Sun.
This babe she gave me, I do feel it and see it
And thou tis wonder that enwraps me thus,
Yet tis not madness! Mílady returns ...

AERYN:
Blame not this haste of mine ... have we not learned
Loveís all we have thatís more precious than time.
Allís set in motion, so this very night
In the chantry, before all the courtís sight,
Plight me the full assurance of your faith,
That our three souls might know some time of peace.

CRICHTON:
Aeryn Sun, anywhere Iíll go with you
And having sworn truth ever be true.

Grinning, AERYN takes the loose handcuffs and claps it round her own wrist, then leads CRICHTON back off stage right.

SCENE TWO

Enter NORANTI and STARK stage right, crossing towards stage left.

NORANTI:
All the court a flutter ... a wedding this very night! Our Crichton at last returned in mind as well as flesh.

STARK:
A wedding this night ... or perhaps more than one ...

NORANTI:
Then our moonlight gardener has lingered in thy thoughts, friend Stark?

STARK:
Aye, gentle Noranti. I do embrace her offer, and dispose for henceforth of mad lone Stark.

NORANTI:
I am glad. You shall not regret ...

Exit STARK and NORANTI stage left.

SCENE THREE:

Enter BRACA and HARVEY stage right, crossing towards stage left. HARVEY is comically bandaged and on crutches!

Harvey Hurt

BRACA:
Tonightís a merry eve, for míladyís merry wedding ... my lord, why are you thus out of measure sad?

HARVEY:
There is no measure in the occasion that breeds. Only the sadness is without limit.

BRACA:
You should hear reason.

HARVEY:
And when I have heard it, what blessing brings it?

BRACA:
If not a present remedy, at least a patient sufference.

HARVEY:
I wonder that thou goest about to apply a mortal medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide what I am. I must be sad when I have cause, when I have stomach, and wait for no manís leisure; sleep when I am drowsy, and tend on no manís business ... Iíll buttle no more! And suffer the butt of no more jests, from woman or man. Iíll laugh when I have humor, and claw who I please in my humor.

Harvey Rages

BRACA:
No hope have you left, then, for the fair Fool Sikozu?

HARVEY:
It is her that is the architect of my present pains! Oh yes ... she knows not that I know, but I see now her hand behind all.

BRACA:
Snatching Cupidís very dart from the air, and killing thy love, mílord?

HARVEY:
Quite the reverse! She proves herself quite the worthy maid. But alas ... far too fair a flower for one such as I. I am the canker in the hedge, no rose in grace, and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any. In this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied that I am a plain-dealing villain.

BRACA:
Can you make no use of your discontent?

HARVEY:
I make all use of it, for I use it only. Iíll be revenged on the whole pack of them!

Exit HARVEY and BRACA stage left.  

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